The Limericks of the Ancient Mariner
Oct. 24th, 2021 08:33 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
pedantherSamuel Taylor Coleridge's seven-part epic condensed into seven stanzas for the edification of the hasty;
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This Sailor Discovered One Weird Trick For Avoiding Divine Wrath
There was an old salt who averred
That I needed to stop for a word
While he told me the tale
Of his life under sail
And the day that he shot down a bird
His crewmates at first said he'd sinned
Then the weather improved and they grinned
Then the ship was becalmed
And they all were alarmed
With no water to drink, and no wind
With relief the old mariner cried
When a sail in the distance he spied
'Twas a spectre of death;
The men drew their last breath,
Cursed the bird-slayer, lay down, and died
The old salt, as he lived on alone
Viewed the rot all around with a groan
Till on one moonlit night
He beheld such a sight
That he blessed the strange beasts he'd been shown
Now it seemed his misfortunes were past
As the ship soon began to move fast
Though as yet no wind blew;
And the husks of the crew
Manned their posts, as he looked on aghast
For a while then he fell in a swoon
As the ship sped so quickly that soon
He beheld with delight
A familiar sight
His own home, 'neath the light of the moon
Now he sometimes will get a strange itching
That will not let up till he's pitching
The tale of the bird
Told in full, every word
To some joker who's late for a hitching
Moral:
If with God you desire to be cool
Then just follow this one simple rule:
Act with love toward all
Creatures, both great and small
For He made and loves them too, you fool
plus
This Sailor Discovered One Weird Trick For Avoiding Divine Wrath
There was an old salt who averred
That I needed to stop for a word
While he told me the tale
Of his life under sail
And the day that he shot down a bird
His crewmates at first said he'd sinned
Then the weather improved and they grinned
Then the ship was becalmed
And they all were alarmed
With no water to drink, and no wind
With relief the old mariner cried
When a sail in the distance he spied
'Twas a spectre of death;
The men drew their last breath,
Cursed the bird-slayer, lay down, and died
The old salt, as he lived on alone
Viewed the rot all around with a groan
Till on one moonlit night
He beheld such a sight
That he blessed the strange beasts he'd been shown
Now it seemed his misfortunes were past
As the ship soon began to move fast
Though as yet no wind blew;
And the husks of the crew
Manned their posts, as he looked on aghast
For a while then he fell in a swoon
As the ship sped so quickly that soon
He beheld with delight
A familiar sight
His own home, 'neath the light of the moon
Now he sometimes will get a strange itching
That will not let up till he's pitching
The tale of the bird
Told in full, every word
To some joker who's late for a hitching
Moral:
If with God you desire to be cool
Then just follow this one simple rule:
Act with love toward all
Creatures, both great and small
For He made and loves them too, you fool
no subject
Date: 2021-10-24 03:09 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2021-10-24 03:15 am (UTC)Bravo!
no subject
Date: 2021-10-25 02:18 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2021-10-25 02:36 am (UTC)Now that you point it out, though, it does have that "My Very Elegant Mother Just Sat Upon Nine Porcupines" kind of energy to it.